Friday, October 01, 2004
Posted at 06:39 pm by Big Andy
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I wandered into the bedroom with a duck under my arm.
Me: “Hi honey I’m home”
Di: “You’re drunk”
Me: “Waddaya think of the pig"
Di: "It's a duck”
Me: "I was talking to the fucking duck"
Posted at 04:28 pm by Big Andy
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Tinned soup plays an important part in my life, not only because I like to eat it for lunch but because we buy quite a bit of it from the supermarket, which again is probably due to me liking to eat it for lunch.
So I decided to compile my top ten canned soups in reverse order.
10 – Asparagus
9 - Minestrone
8 – Beef and Tomato
7 – Chicken
6 – Tomato
5 – Oxtail
4 – Vegetable
3 – Leek and Potato
2 – Pea and Ham
1 – Lentil and Bacon
So there you go, Lentil and Bacon comes in at number one in my book. Many would say it was a controversial choice and we could spend many hours debating the flavours and manufacturers.
No doubt you may have a different ten.
Posted at 01:05 am by Big Andy
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Thursday, September 30, 2004
A Family hooked on a juice drink now have a non-stop supply at home — ON TAP.
Clive and Mandy Bird installed a 33-gallon tank full of Vimto — buried in their garden — which is piped into a special purple tap in their kitchen.
They and sons Daniel, 12, and Tom, nine, sup about 25 pints a week.
The cordial is pumped into a mixing chamber linked to the home’s water supply in Timperley, Gtr Manchester. Manufacturers helped set up the supply but would not reveal the cost.
A Vimto spokesman said: “It’s a one-off gift.”
Mandy, 40, said: “We might start a craze!”
What. you mean we could soon see everyone acting like chav twats?
Posted at 01:03 pm by Big Andy
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Wednesday, September 29, 2004
Vernon Kaye is a wanker who thinks he is a personality broadcaster. Unfortunately, so do his last two employers – despite a resounding lack of evidence that any viewers or listeners agree.
Posted at 08:15 pm by Big Andy
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Bit of a change today.
There was a different girl on the returns department of B&Q when we took the latest thing we purchased from there back because it was bollocksed. This time it was a new filter cartridge for the system we have connected to the water supply for drinking water.
We, well Diana, fitted it and it pissed water all over the place as it had a crack in it. We got the usual apologies and the cheeky bitch even said ‘see you soon’ as we left.
One day, we’ll buy something that is actually up to the fucking job it was designed for.
Posted at 07:52 pm by Big Andy
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If you should feel the need to ring St. Helens Rugby Club you will find they have, like many arsehole companies that you ring, a options menu for you to choose and get confused from.
One small difference though, St Helens have Johnny Vegas doing theirs.
0870-756-5252.
Posted at 07:32 pm by Big Andy
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If this doesn’t convince you that they are the evil sperm of Satan then I don’t know what will.
Posted at 02:08 am by Big Andy
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Dr came out to me today after the pain in my throat extended itself to my chest giving me some right jip.
He did say what I had, but I’m fucked if I can remember what it is, but I got some antibiotics for it and I spent most of the day dozing off and watched a video recording of last weekend’s Heartbeat.
I think I’ll live.
Posted at 01:57 am by Big Andy
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Monday, September 27, 2004
Anyone else find this bloke a complete cunt?
Or is it just me?
Posted at 05:23 pm by Big Andy
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